Anxiety - what helps?

Anxiety is a normal human emotion and it is essential for keeping us safe. Anxiety helps us to be cautious when there may be danger, something important or something unknown. This is appropriate and essential.

We check to see if it's safe to cross the road and when it is clear, we do. We check to see if the food is cooked properly and when we have checked we eat it. We check that we have set the alarm clock for the morning and then we can go to sleep. This is anxiety doing it's job properly.

However, sometimes anxiety ramps up, it gets a little over zealous, a little "jobs-worthy" if you like and decides it is not enough to check once, "What if there is another car coming that you didn't see?" it whispers in your ear, "What if that chicken only looks cooked?" it murmurs under it's breath, "What if the battery runs out on your clock, what if it breaks in the night, shouldn't you check again?" it whines repeatedly. So when anxiety steps over the line and starts being less helpful and more of a hindrance, how do we know when to listen? How can we tell if it is telling the truth? What can we do to stop the incessant chattering?

Trusting ourselves is a huge part of overcoming anxiety in overdrive. Many people who struggle with anxiety have an inner monologue about their own incompetencies and inadequacies that feed into anxiety. If your self belief is that your choices and decisions cannot be trusted and you always feel like you need to check that you have done or said the right thing you can see how your old buddy anxiety can take all your power, right? At it's worst, anxiety is like that over-confident friend/colleague who talks over you, tells you about their life when you were talking about yours and tells you what you should be doing or saying at any given time. Know anyone like that? Annoying huh?! Do you always listen to them? Do you always take their advice? or do you sometimes feel like they don't have your best interests at heart?

So, if anxiety gets a bit like this sometimes what would happen if you trusted yourself a little bit more? What would happen if you checked once, and believed that you had checked correctly. What would happen if you didn't allow yourself to get into a debate with anxiety (because it will keep trying to make you see it's point of view!) and instead of listening you just continued doing another task anyway? What would happen if instead of trying to avoid the feelings anxiety is triggering in your body, you spoke to the feeling "Hey anxiety, I know you are worrying about what might happen and I can feel you inside me but you know what, I have checked the chicken/car/clock and I trust that I have this covered. I am now going to carry on reading my book/watching TV/
walking/running/washing up because your worry will pass". The more we engage with our fears the bigger they grow, the more we allow them to come without trying to force them aside, the more the feeling subsides. Our thoughts trigger sensations and our sensations trigger thoughts.

Don't get me wrong - I know this is not easy. Our anxiety can be powerful.
So here are some tips to help:

1. Notice your thoughts and change them - So if you were to wake up feeling sick and your first thought is "oh no, I'm feel to be sick" what is your next thought? Anxiety will launch into assuring you that you will definitely be sick, no chance that you won't be and might die. What if you challenge that thought...."Really? Anxiety are you a doctor now? I think actually I will be fine!"
2. Know the feeling will pass and say this to yourself - don't try to stop the feeling, allow it to come and remember/repeat "I know that anxiety is normal" "I know that I am safe" "I know this will pass" "I know that I will not die" I know that I have handled this before" 
3. Get out of your head and into your activity - the more we engage with the fear; the thoughts and feelings that anxiety triggers the worse we feel and the longer the attack takes. So once you have named the feeling (above) carry on with your activity and ground yourself in what your senses experience, describing every aspect as though you were recording the experience to share with another: "I am washing a plate, the water feels warm, the bubbles are soft on my skin, I can feel my feet on the hard floor, I can see out of my kitchen window, I can see clouds/sun/rain/birds/trees, I can hear the washing machine, I can hear the radio, I can smell my bin, the dog, the cat, my lunch cooking..." The more we can get out of our head, the more our body and mind can re-regulate and calm down.
4. Visualise a happy memory/place - remembering something funny or happy can also help get you out of your own head. You can use similar grounding techniques from above to describe and recite the experience so that your body starts to recognise the positive sensations from that memory.
5. Support of others - tell those closest to you what helps and what hinders. When you are feeling calm agree 'cue' words that will signal to others what you need. Perhaps 'thumbs down' means I need a quiet place now! Maybe 'I'm feeling tired' means 'get me out of here!' - your choice you are the person who knows you the best! But if the people around you know what to do they can help you to manage anxiety more effectively when it does kick off!

There are lots of things that can help but please don't feel despondent if these tips don't work for you. You CAN be the boss of your own anxiety and you CAN learn to keep it in check. It might not happen straight away because learning takes time but I know you CAN do it!
For more tips you can look at:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/overcoming-fears
https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk